I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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