Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
