and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
