I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
