he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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