My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
