Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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