Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
