dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
