You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
