weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
