just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
