Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
