dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
