dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
