p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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