apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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