you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
