I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize