would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
