He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My life is pants optional.
Randomize