I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
