gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
