Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
