You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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