If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
