Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
