Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
