I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
