Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize