I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize