i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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