I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
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This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
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I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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