so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
