So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize