I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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