i just google imaged poop.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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