I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
