I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
