I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
