Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
