marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I died a long time ago.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
