Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

when does round two start

(703): View more from Virginia

I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night

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(407): View more from Florida

Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN

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(706): View more from Georgia

They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.

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