If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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