Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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