so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
