i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
