Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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