Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize