So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
