Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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