i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
