OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
