Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
