yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
