I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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