yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
