he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
