she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's never too late to be topless.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
