a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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