If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
