it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
