I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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