There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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