evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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