at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize