So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
